Tim: Time to take him in

“Home is the place where, when you have to go there,
They have to take you in.”

“I should have called it
Something you somehow haven’t to deserve.”
–From “The Death of the Hired Man,” by Robert Frost

At the instant I learned about the “seizures” (yet to be diagnosed), I knew two things. One, we would have to take Tim in with us. There is no alternative. He has no savings and no insurance for a “facility,” no other family nearby. I wouldn’t want him with strangers anyway. Tim has quoted Frost in the past about “they (family) have to take you in” but it is more than a moral responsibility. I want to do this.

And two, it will change our lives.

I can be impulsive. My philosophy is “Do what’s right and make it work.” Jerry is more practical and was not so sure but with his permission, we asked Tim if he’d consider staying with us for awhile. I offered him the most succulent carrot I could think of: “You’ll have 24/7 computer help.” That was a clincher. He doesn’t like to bother us but still Jerry is often trouble-shooting his computer over the phone or driving the 20 minutes each way to fix it.

We brought Tim home with us the next day.

Conveniently, my (former) sister-in-law had needed a place to store her 93-year old mother’s bedroom furniture when she put her mother into assisted living. We had welcomed the furniture and moved everything out of our living room so we could set it up, hoping that the mother herself would follow and live out her days with us. But she went from assisted living to skilled nursing.

Tim's new bedroom

Tim’s new bedroom

So Tim moved into a bedroom with French provincial (I think) furniture upholstered in pink camellias. More important to him, it has a desk where he can work on his current project B’loop. (http://tedrey.wordpress.com/bloop/)

We hung burgandy curtains across the doorway. We had LifeAlert installed. We had his newspapers re-routed. I notified family and friends.

With Tim here, we can be sure he eats right, gets his pills at the right intervals, makes it to his AA meetings, can summon help if he falls in the shower–and he can entertain us with funny stories and explain to us the hyperstriata of birds.

Sudoku approves.

Sudoku approves.


About Jessica Renshaw

This entry was posted in Alzheimer's, My brother Tim and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Tim: Time to take him in

  1. Your sense of humor will take you a long way, a very long way. And there are two of you. I had only me to take care of my mom. After five years, I finally had to have more skilled help and did put her in a nursing home facility. I still go there every week to teach a Bible study group. It actually became an open door for me. Mom wouldn’t take her medicine for anyone except from me or my daughter. My daughter gave me a break once or twice a week and spoiled her grandma by always taking her a strawberry milkshake from Steak and Shake. I would not trade those days for anything. We did have to laugh a lot and occasionally, we cried. Jessica, you have a book in the making.

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