We have friends I’ll call Dave and Ellie.
One day early in their marriage Dave came home from work to find his wife in the doorway with evidence of a failed attempt at dinner in the background.
Ellie held up both hands, making “V”s with her fingers. Frowning and shaking her head so her jowls would have jiggled if she’d had any, she growled, “I am not a cook! I’ve burned everything I’ve got!”